The hurricane that sweeps around on my inside cleans a lot of the cobwebs out, I’m grateful for the turbulence.

I like the way my brain is in perpetual motion, the hurricane also clears out all the shit not anchored down.

Viva the nosedive, viva the sky high.

Life, your whole life,
is change after change

One second – you’ve made it to the top
Next second you’re down at the bottom of the slope
And this repeats
Throughout your whole life
One second you’ve got the most beautiful girl in the world on the end of your arm
Next second you don’t even remember what it was like
And it goes back and forth, back and forth

And this is life, change
If you get a chance to win, take it.

Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn, hard.

There comes a point sometimes during an otherwise normal day when I wonder where things are headed, not in the pointless questions like “…should I use white or brown sugar today…” but more like “what the fuck is around the corner and where in the hell am I going…”

Occasionally I sit around and ask myself the heavier questions, mind you this kind of behaviour happens even though I’m not locking horns with Mr Arthur Guinness or Mr Robert Tennent. I ask myself the tough questions like “…maybe I should pick up the phone…” or “…maybe I should drop all of this and go see the world instead of pushing myself harder” For me it’s cathartic to ask such questions, it forces me to snap out of the sleep, forcing to think it through.

The Past

Every mistake I’ve ever made still wanders by like old friends, still thinking them over, trying to see how it happened.

*Tap tap* “Hello? Is anyone in there?..”

I like sharpening the edge of the sword, I like looking down the rifle, I like to free fall and hit the wall.

Maybe it is that we are doomed to live in a circle, like a tire rolling down an 80 year old hill. Some people get haunted by their past, their mistakes, their cycle; never learning but always questioning. I question but I take from my gut instincts and follow them through. I guess that is the biggest issue that divides us. Everyone asks the questions but only some listen to the answers.

The Future

I’m officially one part petrified and one part thrilled sitting in a lowball glass, being slowly stirred, breath held, waiting for the ice to drop.

My ideas book is now bursting at seams, nothing’s set in stone obviously, there’s always that curveball when you least expect it but I’m thinking about big projects, plans, schemes, goals. It’s getting to that point of the year for me to take all of these scribbles on scraps, set some lofty goals and see where I am and what I have achieved come the end of the summer.

The pen is mightier than the sword, or as I’ve experienced, the keyboard and keypad.

-Andy

- makes about 6 large cups, or 12 mini cups -
Ingredients

For the peanut butter shells:
4 tablespoons butter, softened
6 tablespoons brown sugar
2 1/2 tablespoons peanut butter (creamy works best)
1/4 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup flour

For the filling:

Adapted from Taste of Home

1 cup confectioners’ sugar
2 tablespoons milk (I used whole milk)
1 tablespoon peanut butter (creamy works best)
2 1/2 teaspoons baking cocoa
1 tablespoon butter, softened
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
Procedure

1. Preheat your oven to 350°F. Place either 12 regular sized cupcake liners, or 24 mini ones, in a muffin/cupcake tin. Set aside.

2. In a mixing bowl, cream the butter, brown sugar, peanut butter and vanilla until light and fluffy. Gradually add the flour until combined—the mixture will be fairly crumbly.

3. Take about 2/3 of the mixture and press into half of the cupcake cups in your prepared muffin tin, making sure to press the mixture into the bottom and up the sides of the cups.

4. With the remaining mixture, press the dough into only the bottom of the remaining cups—so you will have half of the cups filled on the bottom and sides, and half just pressed into the bottom of the cups.

Note: My idea had initially been to top each cup with a flat cookie top from the flat rounds of peanut butter dough baked in the bottom of the cupcake cups, but the dough crumbled easily once baked, and so I decided to go with it and simply crumble the cookie crumbs on top of the finished cups (see step 5).

5. Bake for 12 to 15 minutes or until lightly browned and set. Let cool.

6. In the meantime, make your filling. combine all of the ingredients either in a microwave-safe bowl for 30 seconds, or on a stovetop on low heat, stirring occasionally, until combined and creamy. Pour into each of your waiting peanut butter cups. If your flat tops have not crumbled, put them on top; if they have, then go ahead and simply crumble them on top.

7. Refrigerate for at least 2 hours, or until the filling has set. After the filling has set, they can be stored at room temperature in an airtight container.

Collecting vinyl.

Bored + Photobooth + Photoshop by ~superandy07 on deviantART